Monday, January 14, 2013

Answers and the Writer

Lost but now I am found
I can see but once I was blind
I was so confused as a little child
Trying to take what I could get
Scared that I couldn't find
All the answers
-Lana Del Ray-

Sometimes I wish I had the answer to life. Then again, do I really want the answer?

My meaning of being?

Yes and no.

As a full-time employee at a Fortune 500 company, I sometimes wonder what is the meaning of my life right now.

I'm 23, a month and six days till I'm the big 2 oh 4.

College degree? Check.

A sustainable income? Check.

Place of own? Check.

Insecurities and insomnia? Check Check.

But I want more.

Sure I might sound greedy because I have so many good things going for me, but maybe I just want a few questions answered.

Want to know what's next for me, or isn't?

Whose the guy that will finally steal my heart?

When will I meet those friends that will actually stick around longer then a month?

When will it not feel like everyone's stabbing me in the back with their lies?

I'm just a simple girl, trying to live life with a timid smile and a way to write clever plot twists like I was born to do it.

Someday, I hope to have all these answers and no more questions that will render me sleepless.

To look at the moon in awe and wonder, not puzzled and desperate for the night to cease for I can't think of another word to write to describe what I feel or don't feel. To look at the moon like an owl does and love it, cherish it, forever.

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