The Insecure Writer

Hi my name is Christina and I’m an insecure writer.

There I said it and I’m proud of it.

A lot of people live life with two faces, the one they use in the public world and the one they face daily in the mirror. I’m not talking here about facial dislikes people, but more of what’s churning up instead us.

What the outside world doesn’t understand is the fact that writers spill themselves into their novels. Heck, we even put ourselves in it through our main or secondary characters. I’ve done it and probably will always do so. And that’s fine, perfectly normal really. I mean what else would you write your novel about if it wasn’t filled with some of your own hopes, dreams and wishes? We take our insecurities and let them form into cleverly crafted words and that’s awesome.

Being a writer isn’t easy. We deal with a lot of rejection, not only from readers and agents, but also from people not involved in this complex writing word.

“You wrote a novel?” Questions your big bucks of a lawyer family member, this past holiday season.

“Yes, it’s…” The writer in question starts to respond, eager to spill about their work.

“You’ve published it?”

“No, not yet.”

“Well, you better get yourself a ‘real’ job then, can’t pay the bills writing sentences.”

Thanks for the wise words, see you next year.

Sometimes even teachers and professors can push you forward even if there words don’t.

I was told by a high school teacher in my senior year that I shouldn’t attend college, that I wouldn’t be successful if I choose that route.

This coming Sunday, 12/9/2012, I will be celebrating my one year anniversary of receiving my English degree.

I was told by my college professor that a degree in neither English nor writing would ever be good to peruse for my skills weren’t great nor there.

Dido the golden words above.

 When someone has ever told me I couldn’t do something, I proved them wrong. I fought my insecurities and won. Though I still have to deal daily with the ones my mind creates to stunt my growth as a writer, I push forward.

Life is crazy.

Last year at this time I was wrapping up my last college finals and buying my navy cap and gown, now I’m living three hundred miles away from my childhood home and letting my dreams take me where I’m supposed to go. I’m following my dreams and letting my insecurities be my guide into the great unknown because who’s ever said, ‘I dreamed small and I got to where I am today because of it.’ Writers, only dream big dreams, it sure make the journey of life that more adventurous.

 

This post is part of the Insecure Writer's Support Group hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh. We post the first Wednesday of every month. Check the link for some of the other blogs participating in this event!